Probably the best lager in the world...

Girl About Town is nursing her frost-bite and having a well-earned pint with AG... 

GAT and AG recently got locked out of A&E and were refused re-entry (ho hum) after having briefly stepped outside to help an ambulance crew (in sub-zero temperatures).

Unfortunately Carlsberg don’t make A&E departments but if they did, they’d have probably made this one…

Girl About Town and Consultant B have been discussing this month’s journals…
GAT has also been conducting an audit on the wards and has discovered a relationship between number of attempts required to insert a cannula (>3) and poor performance in the bedroom (p<0.05) and feels a publication within her grasp…

Meanwhile back in theatre 13, GAT and Consultant D are in awe at the dimensions of the rectal ultrasound probe and are convinced that it must have other uses… GAT asks if she can borrow one for her labrador to chase after in the park…

Men In Tights

Girl About Town’s quest for a few more gold coins continues… This evening I have agreed to do a private list with Consultant C. Operating today will be the Sheriff of Nottingham (who can chain me up anytime), his registrar Maid Marion and the curiously named Little John. Unfortunately the theatre team and I have been flummoxed by a pair of TED stockings and are unable to start our first case…  And whilst stocking up on some booze earlier in the week, it appears that another serious clinical incident has occurred… Consultant C has fallen and injured his right wrist (which he uses for writing, washing up and other important tasks beginning with ‘W’...)

GAT and Marion are now passing the time by watching re-runs of Robin Hood in the canteen. We discuss the age-old question of brain vs brawn and come to the conclusion that the longbow beats the crossbow everytime.

Finally! We’re back on track with the theatre list and Consultant C states that he's now going to give up his wicked ways and be as straight as an arrow. GAT is unsure about this and wonders whether that’s a laryngoscope in his pocket or if he’s just pleased to see her…

Much Ado About Nothing (A Sequel to 'The Tower')

Girl About Town has spent a pleasurable weekend with an attractive merchant from Venice and has had a chance to relook at this whole situation. Following a chat with MK I have decided to take refuge in a witness protection program and have undergone relocation. I have turned up at my new hospital to see how the land lies… Conveniently Consultants A to E have followed me to my new place of work and hence will still continue to feature.

Girl About Town is on a roll after her Twelfth Night on call and is attempting some light bank holiday locumming. This morning I have the joy of a urology list with Lady MacBeth.  From the looks of things it’s been a heavy New Year’s weekend for Lady MacB since all her cannulas today appear to have gone a little MacDuff (though I hear this is not much different to usual).

In other news, GAT is struggling to get her audit done due to the unreliable hired help. I decide to let it pass since bitter experience has shown that attempting to tame a shrew (or for that matter, medical student) can cause considerable havoc in the workplace…

Happy New Year!

Girl About Town is regretting showing up to the New Year's party dressed as a budgerigar after being asked by a fellow party-goer whether she'd like a 'cock or two...'

The Escape 'Claus'

Girl About Town may be back in the New Year with a new venture...
(Details to be released in the same manner as previously)

EPITAPH

It is with an extremely heavy heart that Girl About Town has had to resign her role as author (yes really this time). In a week where the WikiLeaks founder is released and Consultant Marple gets away with spreading unsubstantiated gossip, bizarrely GAT has been threatened with GMC involvement +/- dismissal over the publication of this blog. Though I have never engaged in any sort of espionage, the department’s sense of humour police have once again put their time to good use and have brought this blog to its knees.

It is much to GAT’s amusement to find that some people actually think that this ridiculous and clearly fictional blog might be real!! For these people I would like to clear up a few other issues:

1.     Santa Claus isn’t real

2.     There aren’t any fairies at the bottom of your garden

3.     (The Lochness monster may also be in this category but I can’t be sure)

4.     Cats don’t have nine lives

Though I am sure the General Medical Council has better things to do than investigate a fictional case of herpes, I can no longer deal with the pressure of these arbitrary threats and hence will be laying down my pen… (I am however available to commission bespoke episodes for weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals…)

Now seriously, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. As for me, I’m now going to ditch my cape, relinquish the Batmobile, put my Laura Ashley dress back on and go back to auditing notes… Oh and a word of warning to anyone residing at The Tower, don’t ever attempt to write fiction in your own time or God forbid, make a joke… they’re watching you…

Merry Christmas & Be good…

Lots of love,

Girl About Town x